The Moments Between
by Mizou32
Summary: EMISON story I came up with after 7x06. Has potential for a sequel. Basically picks up at the hug at the end of the episode and branches off into its own story from there. More info in the story.
1. Chapter 1

**Well here is my promised EMISON story. I thought the hug at the end of 7x06 was sweet and very awkward. My story will just branch off from that moment and it will not include my own** _ **A**_ **storyline. The A blanks can be filled in with episodes and really I don't think any** _ **A**_ **moments I can come up with are good enough for me to write.**

 **-Miley**

As I stood with my arms wrapped around Ali I was reminded of the time my dad made me hug my great aunt Katherine at Christmas when I was eight. It was a bit awkward and the way that I was holding her felt the same way, except that even after years I still loved her.

We were in the middle of her living room and with my arms wrapped on her shoulders and around her head I could only think of how I almost lost her for what felt like the millionth time tonight.

She though has never loved me in the same way and especially now when she just found out her husband was a completely different person who tried to kill her and was in love with her sister; I knew she would not at all be open to any relationship if she was sane. And still I knew there was a part of me that hoped she would finally be with me now.

Yes technically I was dating Sabrina but I would give her up in a minute to be with Ali.

For now though I contented myself with having her here and being able to hold her when she most needed me. Right now this is what she needed and I knew that I was the one that could give her the most comfort.

The music began to slowly come to an end as the final notes of the song were played through the speakers and still she didn't move.

Instead I noticed how she almost became heavier against me.

I chanced a glance down at her face and noticed that her eyes were shut and her face had smoothed over.

She was starting to fall asleep.

As carefully as I could I began to shuffle forward towards her couch. This proved to be very difficult since she did not seem to want to move and I was in no position to be able to carry her over either.

Eventually we did make it over and I managed to lay down with my back against the cushions and her body tucked into mine in front of me.

She might be mad at me in the morning for us being so close but right now I needed to have her near me more than she most likely needed me.

My hand was still holding her head and I began to caress her hair softly eventually my hand landing on her waist, something she would never have let me do if she were awake.

I shut my eyes and pulled her closer and I felt her drift off completely in my arms.

Having her here made me fall asleep quickly as well and I soon dropped off into a sleep of nightmares where every time I left her I lost her.

When I woke up the first thing I noticed was the blanket that was draped around my body and the second thing I noticed was the lack of another person next to me.

I quickly sat up and my eyes began to scan the room looking for her. Just as I was about to get up she came walking back into the living room and she was carrying a newspaper under her arm.

She looked surprised to see that I was up.

"I thought you would stay asleep longer, did I wake you up?"

The cut on her cheek looked worse than last night and the bruises were turning an uglier shade of purple and red on her neck.

"You didn't wake me, I just was wondering where you went."

"I've been up for hours, I'm sorry about falling asleep on you. You didn't sleep well because of me and I was hoping you would get some sleep this morning."

"I slept fine." I lied.

"You did not. You were moving around the whole night and you kept making your crying face."

"You were watching me sleep?"

I wasn't mad, I just figured she wouldn't have woken until this morning since she was usually a pretty heavy sleeper.

"I kept having nightmares and having someone close made me feel comfortable, just not enough to sleep. So I stayed with you on the couch and every time you started to make the face I would talk to you and tell you it was okay."

I wish that I knew it would be okay. I wish that I could live in world where I woke up thinking my day would go well and go to sleep knowing I was safe. I wish that I could be with the girl I loved, not only when something bad happened. I wish that she didn't see me having nightmares and that she had slept.

I had a million wishes right now and yet I knew that none of them would be coming true anytime soon.

"I'm sorry. I stayed with you so you could sleep and then it ended up not working." The best-laid plans always seemed to go awry.

"Its alright. It was nice not to be alone; and Mary doesn't count since I am always looking over my shoulder with her."

I should feel guilty spending time with a girl I was in love with while seeing another, and yet I couldn't quite get myself to feel that way. Being here with Ali was more important than any relationship I had.

"I should probably get going." If I didn't leave soon I might do or say something that neither one of us was ready for; something that had the potential to really screw things up.

She just looked at me and nodded her head before looking down and away from me.

As I gathered my things to leave she never moved from her spot and she didn't look at me again.

With my things in my hand I walked over to her and put my hand on her shoulder.

Still she didn't look up.

"Ali, are you okay?"

"Will you come back tonight? I know that's a lot to ask but I don't think I can be alone anymore."

I should have told her no. I should have told her to ask Spencer or Hanna or Aria and yet as she asked in a vulnerable voice I was powerless to resist her.

"Of course I will."

She looked up at me then.

Our eyes met, and I could feel my self-control slipping.

I wanted nothing more than to on to her and never let her go. I wanted to kiss her and more.

Instead I squeezed her arm and walked out her door, I walked out to my car and knew I needed to spend the rest of the day coming up with reasons not to do anything stupid.

 **Let me know what you think. I am not sure how long this story will be. I just had this idea in my head and decided to run with it. Love and thanks to all!**

 **-Miley**


	2. Chapter 2

I promised that I would spend the day thinking of all the reasons to be smart and not do anything stupid. Instead though my mind kept wandering back to the feeling of Ali in my arms; how good it felt to touch her hair.

I kept catching myself and each time I told myself that was it, I wouldn't let it go any further. Five minutes later each time I was right back where I started.

I was screwed. So screwed.

I walked up to her door and knocked softly. The door opened immediately, almost of she had been standing there waiting for me.

Ali practically pounced on me when the door opened.

After she had barely spoken to me or looked at me this morning I was surprised at this action.

"I'm really glad that you are here."

"Yeah I got that impression." I joked as she released me and smiled.

She took my hand and pulled me inside. Not saying a word she pulled me upstairs and to the Jason's old bedroom, which had since been converted to a guest room.

Flicking on the lights, Ali let go of my hand.

"You can say no if you want but I would feel so much better if you stayed with me. I hate being all alone here all the time. You don't have to pay for anything I just I don't want to be alone and I need you."

I was going to say no, I really was. But then she said that she needed me and hell I was completely at her mercy.

"Of course I will stay here with you, as long as you don't mind me bringing all my stuff here." Not that I really had that much but still it was more than was acceptable for someone staying in a guest bedroom.

"I want you to feel as if you are at home."

I just nodded at her. Yes I could have said something but really nothing that I had to say sounded appropriate. Yes I was in love with Ali but there was still a part of me that felt incredibly guilty; the only productive thing I had done all day was to text Sabrina and tell her I wasn't really in a good place to see her. I shouldn't have texted her, I should have had the nerve to tell her face-to-face.

"Are you hungry?" I'm sure it was just my nerves about this whole thing but I felt starving.

"I ate but I have some leftovers in the fridge I can heat them up for you."

Knowing Ali, it was probably something really good. The girl could cook!

"That sounds fine." This would give me something to focus on.

I followed Ali into the kitchen. I knew where she kept her wine and I decided that I was going to need a glass.

As she moved over to the fridge and began pulling things out I grabbed a glass from her cabinet and a white wine out of the small wine fridge.

"Pour me a glass will you? Ali asked while getting out a plate and some utensils.

"Sure."

When I turned back around I saw that Ali was slumped over leaning on the counter. Her breathing was too heavy and I realized very quickly that she was quietly crying.

I set down the glasses and walked the two short steps over to her. I wrapped my arms around her from behind and I felt her relax back against me.

"Why are you crying." I had a feeling that she wouldn't even know the answer, there was most likely way too many things to count that she was crying over.

"I'm so tired Emily."

I knew she meant mentally and not physically.

"I'm tired of feeling scared, of being hurt, of never knowing the truth. I'm tired of being alone and I'm tired of not feeling loved by anyone. Its so lonely when you have no family and the people who were supposed to love you were lying to you. I'm tired Emily."

"Ali, I'm so sorry." What I wanted to say was that I loved her, even when she felt like no one else did.

"Why are you sorry?" She asked and she twisted around in my arms so that her face was staring up at me.

"You feel like no one loves you and I feel responsible for that."

"Why would you feel responsible?"

Here it was, here was my chance. I should tell her but was that even fair to her, fair to me. She just found out her husband was a crook and that her sister had been in love with him. She had just been tortured and they had all just covered up a murder. And yet I knew that I was going to tell her, regardless of if she felt the same, regardless of if I got my heart broken by her again.

"Because I love you Ali." I averted my eyes from hers, I wasn't sure if I could look at her as she broke me again.

I knew she understood what I meant. Yes I loved her as my friend but I was also in love with her and that is what I was trying to convey in this moment.

"Em." I heard her sigh.

I wasn't brave enough to look at her and I couldn't move away from either. If I let her go then I knew that I would lose any small chance that I still had being this close to her.

"Please look at me." She pleaded with me and just like everything else she asked for I would give it to her.

I met her eyes. I had expected to see the rejection that was sure to come but that wasn't what I found. She was looking at me the way I saw her look at Elliot once.

And because my decision-making skills had been so stellar today I decided to round out the whole day and go for broke.

I leaned down and captured her lips in mine. I felt her gasp into my mouth in surprise but she began to kiss me back soon after.

As quickly as it had started though I pulled away like I had been burned.

"I'm sorry Ali, I shouldn't have done that."

I was leaning against the opposite counter with my eyes cast downwards waiting for her to reject me or for a black hole to swallow me, whichever came first and so I didn't see her come over to me.

She lifted my head and leaned in again to kiss me. She attacked my lips hungrily and this time I wasn't afraid to keep going.

I turned us so she was pressed against the counter instead of me. I paused so hard against her that I am sure the counter was digging into her back.

In one move I had reached down to grab her thighs and lift her up onto the counter. This put her on the same level as me and gave me better access to her mouth.

This apparently wasn't close enough for Ali because I felt her wrap her legs around my waist and pull me closer to her.

I wanted her closer, I wanted to feel all of her but I also wanted to know what was happening and what this all meant. Reluctantly I began to slow my kisses and gradually pull away from her. I missed the contact instantly but I knew that if this was all she wanted, just comfort in my body then I would never be able to move on or be whole again.

"Ali." I breathed this against her lips, as I still could not pull all the way away from her.

"What?"

"You have to tell me if I'm crazy, do we have a chance or is this something else to you?"

"Em, lets go talk okay. I will tell you anything and everything. We can finally have an honest conversation about everything and then we can go from there."

This was better than what I had expected. I still wasn't ready to lose contact with her so I wrapped my arms around her and made the decision to carry her to the living room with me so I could keep her close.

This should turn out to be the most interesting and important conversation of my life.


	3. Chapter 3

**I apologize for taking so long to write and post this chapter. I have been out of town for the last week and I did not have proper access to wifi and ample time to write. From here forward it should get a little easier. I wrote this chapter based off of a spoiler I heard that Ali and Emily would have an honest conversation about their relationship and I guess it goes something like this. Enjoy and please review.**

As we crested the entry to the living room I came to the conclusion in my head that I would indeed have to put her down for more than one reason. The first being that we couldn't just stand here like this and talk and the second that if I was this close to her nothing else would matter and we might as well not have a conversation at all.

Walking to the couch I gently set her down on one end so her back would be resting against the arm. I waited for her to loosen her arms around my neck as I lowered her down. She seemed unwilling and I had to admit that I shared the sentiment.

I decided that sitting on the opposite end would be best for both of us.

"Where do you want to start?" Ali asked, and I was glad she did because I had no intention of being the one to break the silence.

"The library." This seemed the best place since it is where everything first came to a head in my mind.

"Ok." I saw her swallow and she began to pick at the blanket that was draped around the back of the couch.

"When you started to lean towards me I honestly had no idea that you were going to kiss me. I didn't think you had it in you to act on one of those feelings. All I felt was shock. And then I felt bad because I knew in my mind that I was going to use it against you because I was so awful to you all the time."

"The locker room." I kept going, not really wanting to linger on any one topic or event too long. There were other things that I knew I wanted a better explanation on and these were so long ago they seemed almost insignificant.

"I wish I could take that entire exchange back. By far that memory has haunted me more than so many others. I knew what I was doing to you, I knew that I was using you, I knew that I was trying to just see what reaction I could get out of you and then you did exactly what I had lured you into doing and I turned on you and I made you feel awful. I did it because even though it was exactly what I wanted, I felt myself losing control of the situation. I enjoyed the attention and affection from you too much and when you kissed me I swear my first reaction was to turn around and kiss you but then the horrible side of me came out instead. I am so sorry that I did that to. I want nothing more than to never see the face that you made that day to be free from my mind."

If she had been playing with the blanket before it was nothing compared to now.

I reached over to still her hands and she looked up into my eyes.

"That is already forgotten, I just wanted to know what you were thinking."

I saw some of the tension leave her body, especially around her shoulders.

I leaned back on the opposite side to distance ourselves.

"What else do you want to know?" She asked in a confident voice but I knew that she felt anything but that.

"Why did you sleep with me? Like did it actually mean something to you or was it a power play?" I knew this would potentially be the hardest answer to hear from her.

She didn't answer right away and she stared so hard down and her hands I thought that they might ignite under her gaze.

"I have never made myself that vulnerable as I made myself that night. I just wanted to be free of everything. To let go. To allow myself to just be with you and be happy. I don't think I have ever been more nervous about anything in my entire life. I knew you never would but you had the power to completely reject me and crush me that night and I wouldn't have been able to keep going if you had. And then you were so sweet the whole time asking me every two minutes it seemed if I was okay with what we were doing. I will admit I just wanted to tell you to shut up a few times but I knew you asked because you are such an amazing person. Later you fell asleep and I stayed up for hours staring at you. I kept touching your face and I knew that I was going to end up hurting you and because of what we had just done, anything that I would do was going to hurt you even more. And then I of course did hurt you. I knew that I was the one who did it to myself but I cannot describe to you how awful it felt knowing that all your hatred towards me was completely warranted. Every time that I looked at you from then on out I just imagined I was back with you in my bedroom touching your face while you slept."

I realized that she hadn't actually answered my other question. I didn't want to hurt her but I needed to know.

"Was it a power play?"

"No, it was the furthest thing from it. I felt so at your mercy that night and after that. I couldn't bear to do the same thing to you again and I just wanted to be with you more than anything. I realize now of course, too late, that I should have just been honest with you."

I really had nothing to say to that. Yes she should have just told me the truth about how she felt but I should have done the same.

I heard her draw in a long and shaky breath and when I looked up I knew she was about ten seconds away from crying.

"When you all left Rosewood to go to college I had never felt more alone. I think the vulnerability that I felt then eventually led me to the place that I was in with Elliot. No one loved me like you did but it was nice to even feel wanted. I got so caught up in the whole thing that I confused my feelings with love."

She was openly crying now and I would do anything to make the sadness on her face fade away.

The only problem was I had literally no idea what to do or say to make her feel any better about anything that had happened.

I settled for no talking and I instead pulled her onto my lap tucking her head under my chin.

Her ragged breaths and tears beat out against my chest, soaking my shirt in the process.

I hoped that the way I was holding her conveyed all of my feelings. I was going for forgiveness, acceptance, love, and comfort.

Her tears stopped and her breathing slowed.

"Emily, I have no right to ask you this or even remotely get off thinking this but can we just go back to the beginning? We can start over. I am a different person than I was back then and I really want the chance to prove it to you."

I didn't answer her right away. It wasn't that I didn't want a clean start I just didn't want to take any steps backwards either.

"Consider it done." I would literally giver her anything she wanted. Either she didn't know this or she just didn't want to take advantage of it. Either way I was glad that she felt compelled to ask.

She pulled her head off of my chest.

"Your shirt is all wet." While this was a fact, she said it in a very flirtatious way. "you should really just take it off." She smirked at me.

Even with mascara running down her face, red eyes, and freshly marked cut on her cheek, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

"Is that so?" I challenged her.

She only nodded at me.

While that whole idea did sound amazing I really just wanted to hold her and have her here in my arms.

I pulled her back down onto my chest and placed a kiss into her hair.

I didn't say anything else and I knew she understood that now was not the time for anything besides this.

 **Alright, well let me know what you think. I tried to include several important elements of the relationship. Let me know if I missed anything or you have suggestions for future chapters.**

 **-Miley**


	4. Chapter 4

A few days later I woke up rather suddenly on the couch in Lucas' apartment and Ali was snuggled up to my chest.

I was confused as to when exactly we had fallen asleep and I was even more confused as to how I wound up in this position.

The last thing that I remember was Ali and I talking after she had come over. She had a been gone a few days on a school field trip and we had spent a couple of hours talking about how it went.

I however remember us both sitting up and facing each other. I figured that when I fell asleep she must have carefully maneuvered both of us into this position. And really I gave her a lot of credit because I was very comfortable and my neck didn't hurt at all.

I used the arm that wasn't supporting her head to brush across her face and down her arm.

She didn't move, instead her face became more peaceful than it had been before.

She was truly beautiful, in every way. As far as I was concerned, the sins of her past didn't matter anymore. The person that she became was far more amazing and deserving than most people could hope to become.

I knew that she had fought to become this person. She had been through more than most people had their entire lives, we all had. All of us came out different people but I think we could all agree the most meaningful change happened with her.

I really didn't want to move from this spot, I wanted to just feel her skin on mine until she finally woke up. Unfortunately for me we had a few glasses of wine last night and as a result I had to go to the bathroom so bad that I was in pain.

I sighed and moved her arm off of my stomach and gently rolled out of her grasp. If I was lucky I might be able to go to the bathroom and make my way back to her.

When I came back to the living area I was glad to see she was still asleep. After the few months we had all been through, sleep had been scare and I was happy when any one of us got to enjoy it.

I carefully made my way over to her and was able to slip back next to her so that I was holding her again. This time though I turned on my side so I could see her better and my hand was more free.

If it had been anyone else I was staring at, it might be considered creepy, but I was so in love with her that it didn't even matter.

I began tracing the lines of her face. I always wanted to do that when we were younger and used to have sleepovers. I felt lucky to be able to do it now.

I stopped my motions and brought my arm down around her waist and shut my eyes thinking I might try and sleep again.

"Why did you stop?"

Her voice scared me and my eyes shot open. I hadn't realized that she had been awake.

"Hey I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

"I woke up when you went to the bathroom but I knew if I pretended to sleep you would come back and lay with me."

Her eyes were still shut so she didn't see the goofy smile that broke out onto my face.

"Is that so?" I teased her.

"It worked didn't it." She had a smile on her face and she looked cute with her eyes still shut.

"When did I fall asleep on you?"

"Right after the second glass of wine. You rested your head on the back of the couch and when I looked over you were passed out."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You looked calm and it made me happy."

"Thanks for making me so comfortable."

She curled into me further and wrapped her arm tight around my middle.

"It was my pleasure. Now stop talking I want to sleep more."

I laughed at her brazen tone, "Yes mam."

I was all too happy to oblige her, and I was all too willing to wait until she fell asleep again before trying to close my eyes.

It didn't take her long to fall asleep again and I guessed it was a combination of where she was and the lasting effects of the wine. As we lay there I tried to imagine what my life was even like before I finally got her. Though it had been only a few days I honestly couldn't imagine it.

My whole life seemed to be different. I felt happier and it felt like things had clicked into place. I imagined that it was like putting the last piece of a puzzle together and finally being able to see the full picture.

The picture was better with her in it and I was going to spend the rest of my life making sure no one damaged my perfect puzzle piece.

I moved some of the hair off of her face and began tracing it again. The cut on her cheek was mostly healed and I was guessing there would only be a faint scar if there were one at all. No matter, she would have been perfect to me.

"Ali, are you awake?"

I wanted to check before I said anything that I knew she wasn't ready to hear. \

When she didn't respond I moved my lips to her forehead and gently kissed it and then her temple.

As I ghosted my lips across her face I gently whispered into her skin, "I love you."

 **Hey guys. I know this chapter is a bit short. I wanted to bring in the scene that we saw in the promo but without more information I didn't really want to take the story any further than the couch. I for one can't wait until next week but I am also very nervous. I am also sorry it took so long to post this, I have had a sinus infection the last few days and I haven't been up for much of anything. R &R lovelies.**

 **-Miley**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys,**

 **Sorry about the late update on this chapter. It has been a crazy few weeks. I have been sick and then I had to move back to University and then I have been working really long days. I am hoping now that school is in session it will be easier to write. Anyway though I took the ideas and themes from the last episode and I am just going to take it from there. I hope everyone will like it and I hope it will to a certain extent stay true to the show. R &R.**

 **-Miley**

When I woke up again I was alone and I heard something coming from down the hall somewhere. In my sleep induced state though I couldn't really tell exactly what it was.

I lay there for a few minutes trying to get my bearings again and I reached for my phone on the coffee table to check the time.

The first time I had woken up it was around 8 a.m. and now it was about noon. I was glad that I had a job working at nights. It left my mornings free for exactly this reason. It also helped that it was a weekend and there was no impending doom for the time being.

I decided to get up and look for Ali. It had officially been longer than I was really comfortable with, there were only so many places that she could be in a small apartment.

The bathroom was the first door down the hall so I figured that was my best bet, it would also explain why I had thought I had heard something when I was still laying on the couch.

I knocked on the door a few times.

"Ali, you in there?"

I heard a few sniffles and then I heard her take a deep breath.

A few moments later the door opened.

Her eyes were red rimmed and her hair was pushed back into a very messy ponytail with most of the strands sticking to her face.

I moved to her quick and wrapped my arms around her.

"Ali, what's wrong?"

She immediately started crying again and I felt her shoulders softly shaking.

"I messed up Em, really bad this time."

My heart dropped, but I was confused as to what she could mean. Just last night everything had been fine. We had some wine, we were talking. This morning was pretty perfect too, I loved waking up next to her.

"It can't be that bad, whatever it is we will figure it out."

"I think I'm pregnant."

I froze. There were a million questions and a million words flowing through my mind but it seemed as though all of them were stuck, like they wouldn't come out.

She must have sensed it and misread my actions.

She pulled back from me and grabbed onto my arms.

"Em, please say something." She was practically begging me and I could see that she looked ready to cry again.

"Ali, you were drinking last night." Out of all the things I could have said and I picked that. My own stupidity amazed me.

"I wasn't. I haven't been drinking lately. You had wine and I just held a glass. I thought maybe I was wrong and I was just stressed but I have been throwing up every morning and I am really late."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I was really hurt; yes we were together now but there was the part of our relationship that still made us best friends and as her best friend I was hurt she didn't confide in me.

"I was so scared Emily; I was so scared that you would decide this wasn't worth it. That this wasn't what you signed up for."

"I signed up for being with you. That means that I signed up for every part of it. I would never ever leave you for being pregnant. Not even if you had cheated on me."

She buried her face back in my chest and she started crying again.

I hugged her closer to me this time than I had before.

Unintentionally I started to cry as well. The tears landed on top of her head and a few on the side of her face.

"Why are you crying?"

"We're going to have a baby."

My fifteen-year old self would most likely be passed out on the ground if she had known this. Being with Ali, having a baby with her, these were only things that I could dream about then. Now it was a reality and honestly I didn't care who's baby it was. If it was Ali's, then it was mine.

"You don't have to do this, I understand really Emily, I won't be mad at you if you want to walk away."

I grabbed her face and made her look right at me.

"Stop. Stop doing that, you will not push me away. Am I overwhelmed right now? Hell yes and I am sure that you are right now too but I am not going anywhere. Even though I am stressed I am deliriously happy and you cannot make me not feel that no matter what you say or think that I deserve. And now the first thing we need to do is make sure that you actually are pregnant so we know if we are freaking out over nothing."

She placed her hands on top of mine and looked really hard at my face almost like she was trying to figure out if I was telling the truth or not.

"Hey Em?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."

I looked at her shocked. I was sure that she had been asleep last night when I told her that.

I leaned down and kissed her, hard. I loved her and I wanted her to know exactly how much I loved her. I hoped that me kissing her in this moment would drive away any doubt that she might have had.

When I pulled away she took my hand off of her face and brought it to rest on her stomach. I looked down at both our hands there and in that moment I swear I could not have felt more at peace.

I was about to have a baby with the woman I loved more than anything else and come to find out she loved me too.

How I got this lucky I wasn't even sure.

 **I actually feel really awful for this chapter. I know it is not very good but I just wanted to get all the awful out before I get to some of the good stuff. I think the next one will be better for sure and most definitely longer. Don't give up hope just for my one awful chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

**As promised here is my next chapter and it is longer than the last and gosh do I hope that it is better. The last one did much better than expected though so I can't really complain. I would really like to say that I have a story in mind before I sit down to write it but really I just let it take me where it will based on one thought I have. That being said, if anyone has any ideas or would like me to include something in my next chapter you can send me a message or leave it in a review and I will try my best to fit it in. Anyway, long author's note. Enjoy!**

 **-Miley**

Ali and I decided that while take home pregnancy tests were sure to give us the right answers it was better to just go right to the source.

I honestly couldn't say who was more nervous about this visit, though I would guess it was her since she was the one who potentially had the baby inside of her.

My hope for this appointment was to find out how far along she was and then I would have a better estimate of how much time I had to get ready for this.

By Ali's calculation she should be about 8 weeks along since that was the absolute last time that her and Archer had done anything and even then she was sure she was careful. All the same though here we were.

The waiting room was full of women and I didn't see hardly any men here. I wondered why the fathers wouldn't want to be here for this, I couldn't imagine not wanting to see my baby even for just a minute.

Ali was sitting on my left and she had unwisely (in my opinion) picked up a few brochures that were behind us and started reading them.

Every few minutes I would hear her softly gasp. I tried asking her the first few times what was wrong but she just shook her head and kept reading. My guess is that she was learning all the gritty details about pregnancy and childbirth.

My nerves were getting the better of me and I reached my hand out to hold onto her leg hoping that just touching her would help.

It seemed to calm my nerves significantly but I still felt nervous about what they were going to say.

She must have sensed my nervous energy and her hand claimed mine so our fingers were knit together. She squeezed my hand once and as I turned to look at her she gave me a small smile.

"Alison"

An older nurse wearing pink scrubs called her name.

Ali stood up and let go of my hand. I stayed sitting because I wasn't really sure if she would be comfortable with my being back there with her.

As she reached the nurse she turned and realized I wasn't there.

"You coming Em?"

I jumped up and made my way over to her quickly. I was happy she was letting me be a part of this since I wasn't the parent to this child technically.

When I reached her she took my hand and laced our fingers together again.

"You two ready?" The nurse asked.

Ali looked at me, "As ready as we will ever be."

"Great you can follow me then."

She led us back into a big room with no windows and the lights dimmed very low. There were two big machines on one wall and in the other corner there was a small bathroom.

The nurse told Ali to put on a gown and lie down on the table when she was ready. She told us she would be back in a few minutes and that since Ali thought she was at least 8 weeks they were just going to go right for the ultrasound rather than doing a blood test.

As soon as she left the room Ali began stripping and I turned my head so that she could have at least some illusion of privacy, though I'm sure that was about to be shattered since early ultrasounds were not done over the stomach.

I heard a soft sniffle and when I look at Ali she was laying on the table trying not to cry.

I went to her and hugged her as best that I could, given our awkward position.

"Ali, what's wrong?"

"It is all seeming really real right now and as soon as I see something on the screen there is going to be no doubt in mind and that scares the shit out of me."

"Do you want to know a secret?"

She nodded against me.

"It scares the shit out of me too. Not because I don't want to do it but because from this moment on you and me are going to be in charge of someone else's life, I mean if you want me there."

"Emily, there is literally no one else I would rather raise this baby with."

Just as she said that there was a knock at the door and the nurse from earlier came in, not giving me any time to react to what Ali had just told me.

She noticed Ali's red eyes and the way I was holding her but she must have decided to leave it alone for now probably assuming that Ali was upset for other reasons.

She went into one of the closets and pulled out a small white blanket. She opened it up and draped it over Ali's legs. She then reached down under the table and two bars swung out from either side with footholds at the top.

Ali adjusted herself on the table while the nurse whose name we now were told was Karen wheeled the machine over.

"Okay I am going to have you relax your legs and take a deep breath in. This might feel a little bit cold but I did try to warm up the gel a bit."

Right away an image popped up on the screen but I wasn't really sure what I was looking at besides a bunch of grey blobs.

Nurse Karen moved the screen around for a few minutes before she spoke to us again.

"How far along did you think you were?"

"It should be around 8 weeks maybe a bit farther, that's the last time I was with anyone."

She pulled the probe out and set it back in the holder for the machine. She told Ali she could put her legs back down and then she moved the table so that she was in a sitting position.

"Okay Alison here's what I can tell you."

Ali took a deep breath and reached out for my hand which I was all to ready to offer.

"You are definitely pregnant but you are not 8 weeks. I would feel more comfortable saying you are around 5 or 6 weeks. So I am guessing you are just forgetting a time that you were with a partner and so your times are a little off or you just miscalculated."

Ali stiffened next to me but in the next second she blew out a breath and answered, "Yes that must be it. I must just have gotten the weeks mixed up."

If it were anyone but me they would think her answer was normal and that her voice was fine but I knew her well enough to know she only spoke like that when she was lying.

"Well congratulations I hope that we will see you soon. I want you to start taking prenatal vitamins, preferably one with folic acid or you need to add another supplement of that. We are also going to have you come back in about a month and then we can get some better images so you can have a few printouts."

"That sounds perfect, thank you so much." There was that tone again.

"As soon as you are dressed you can go ahead and head back out to reception to set up an appointment."

As soon as she left the room I turned to Ali, "This can't be right. You were in Welby 5 weeks ago."

"Yeah Em, I know."

"Please explain this to me."

"Can we please do this when we get home? I'm going to cry about it and I really don't want to do that here or in the car."

"Of course, I'm sorry."

"Can you hand me my clothes please."

I handed them to her silently and had to work hard not to ask her any of the questions that were burning in my mind.

When she was dressed and grabbed her purse I grabbed her arm. She looked up at me and I couldn't help myself. I wrapped my arms all the way around her and held her to me.

She hugged me back but I she wasn't really letting herself be comforted rather she was comforting me.

She pulled back and gave me a tight lipped smile.

After making another appointment we headed back out to the car. I was grateful that the hospital was only a few minutes from home because I didn't think I could hold on much longer.

Ali had driven here but she tossed me the keys and slid into the passenger seat. I didn't question it since I assumed she wanted to get her thoughts together before we got home and I started asking again.

As soon as we were out of the parking lot she reached for me hand and she held it in a vice grip. Her face was scrunched together in an almost painful sort of way.

So I held her hand and drove with the other.

I pulled into the driveway and once the car was shut off I moved to get out but her hand stopped me.

"When we get inside you have to let me talk, I have to get the whole thing out before you ask anything because until today I thought it was just a bad dream okay?"

"Ali I promise I won't say anything until you tell me I can."

As hard as it was going to be I knew she needed this and she needed to trust that I could wait.

We got out of the car and I followed her inside not fully ready to hear this story but I knew I needed to know.

 **So the reason I didn't continue past this point is because I do not for sure have a direction for the story to go. I will be writing one soon so be patient! This chapter is much longer than my last so I hope that it makes up for my last one.**


	7. Chapter 7

**So University this year has been a little more time consuming than usual and with work I find myself stretched a little thin. I am sorry that it took so long to write this chapter and I will try to be better but I make no guarantees. Anyway I hope that everyone has an awesome day! Love you all!**

 **-Miley**

For some reason the walk inside and to the couch felt similar to how a walk to the electric chair might feel, terrifying.

I had of course spent a lot of time in the car and at the doctor's office coming up with scenarios that would fit this but either they didn't fully work out in my head or they were too horrible to imagine.

Ali sat down on the arm chair and I sat on the couch as close to her as I could be. She took the pillow from behind her back and held it to her front like she was giving it a hug.

"Okay, this is important. I need you to not say anything until I am done. You just need to let me get this all out. Deal?"

"Yes Ali, I promise."

"One night after you had come to see me in Welby I woke up and someone was standing above me. I couldn't really tell who it was or what they looked like because I was on so many drugs. Anyway though the person started to unlock the bed wheels and then we were moving down the halls. I kept hoping that someone would see me and think that something was wrong but no one even gave me a second look."

I reached out to take her hand that had made its way to the side of the arm chair. She looked over at me and I gave her a small nod to continue with her story.

"We went into this room and it was dark except it had a bright spotlight over towards the wall. This person locked my bed and then started moving around and collecting things. I know it wasn't Elliot because he liked to make sure that I always saw his face when he did things to me."

I was openly crying, I felt so awful about every part of this. I had gone with her to put her there, I had been so sure that she would be safe that we never gave it a second thought.

"I must have passed out a few times but when I woke up the next time the person was standing over me and then they whispered to me, they said there is no wrong way to start a family. When I woke up again I was back in my room and I just assumed that I had dreamed it all up because nothing looked different and I had horrible dreams with all the drugs Elliot kept me on."

Ali was crying but it wasn't the sobbing kind she just had tears that were streaming down her face and ruining the makeup she had put on that day. She looked dejected about the whole thing and really I couldn't blame her. Me though, I was furious, how could someone do this to her?

"You can talk now Em."

I didn't have any words, none that she would want to hear or were appropriate for the situation. I wanted to scream. I wanted to go out and find whoever did this and kill them.

I stood up still holding onto her hand. I removed the pillow from her lap and pulled her up from the chair. I switched our positions so I was sitting in the chair and then I pulled her down so she was sitting curled up in my lap.

Neither of us said anything and I couldn't think of anything that would make her feel better, or myself for that matter.

"I'm so so sorry Emily."

"Why are you sorry? This isn't your fault, none of this is your fault."

I rubbed her hands and arms trying to just get her to really understand me.

"Em, I had a horrible thought and I don't know how you are going to react to it, but please please don't be angry with me. I would have never done this to you and I swear I had no idea, if I am right."

"Ali I won't be mad at you, just tell me what it is."

"A stole your eggs Emily, what if this baby is yours? I mean it would explain the messages you got and the timeline of them."

Everything suddenly felt extremely small at that moment. The air was too dry and there wasn't enough of it for me. I felt angry, I felt violated, I felt like I did when everyone found out about me being gay.

If I felt violated I can only imagine how Ali felt and that thought was enough to pop me out of my bubble and my slow decent into what I am sure would have been an epic panic attack.

"Em, please say something."

I still couldn't talk so I leaned my forehead against hers and lightly kissed her.

It was sweet and only lasted for a few seconds. I was not aiming to do anything more than to just let her know I wasn't angry with her or upset, I just wanted her to see that I was there for her.

"Ali if it's my baby then in my mind nothing has changed since this morning, the only thing that is different is how much I want to catch A, so that I can personally kill whoever it is for doing this to you."

"Em, you don't mean that."

"I do mean that, he, she, whatever raped you. There is no other way to put it."

"I know and I'm so sorry Emily."

She was crying now and I was this time able to wrap my arms around her.

"Stop apologizing, you didn't do anything wrong and I still want to be with you, I will always want to be with you."

I wasn't sure that I was helping her at all but I really meant it, I have always wanted to be with her and I wasn't sure that anything that ever happened would change that.

"You wanted your eggs to be used so that some amazing couple could have a baby, so that baby could have an amazing life that wasn't fucked up. Instead you might have put your eggs in a basket that is the most fucked up of them all."

If it were any other time I would have laughed at her eggs in a basket reference but now was not the time for that.

"Ali, I wanted to help someone have a baby, I wanted to do something good. Did I imagine that it would happen like this, no of course not. There is no one I trust more though to be carrying my baby if that is in fact the case. This is not how I thought I would start a family but let's be real here I'm gay things were always going to tricky."

Ali smiled a little for the first time since we got home.

"Do you want to be a family Emily?"

She looked vulnerable when she asked, like even after everything I had told her she still doubted that I wanted this, with her.

I made sure to look her right in the eyes when I said this next part.

"Ali, there is literally nothing that I want more, and if you will let me and it's what you want as well, I want to do this together. I mean everything, life, kids, marriage someday. I want to do it all with you."

If she said no I would still be there for her, I would be crushed of course but I loved her enough to know that no matter what she said I would do anything I could for her.

She didn't say anything she just searched my eyes for a minute and then she leaned in and kissed me, bringing her hands to my face so her fingers brushed against my cheeks.

"If that was your idea of a proposal I expect that you go all out next time."

She said it so seriously that I couldn't help but laugh.

"Is that a yes then Ali, will you let me do this with you."

"There is nothing I want more than you by my side through it all."

To say that today had been a roller coaster would be the understatement of the century. We had so much to figure out. More than could be done in a single conversation but I also knew that right here and right now I was happy despite everything.

 **Hey guys, again I am sorry for this taking so long. I have been really busy with school and work and I am also in the process of writing my first novel so that takes up more time that I thought it would. I love that everyone still loves this story and waits for me to update. I will try to be better.**

 **-Miley**


	8. Chapter 8

**Well I am a liar. I have almost no time to write and if anything my time is becoming more limited. Still though I will keep going! I hope that I will not lose readers due to my limited time as I still enjoy writing this story thoroughly.**

 **-Miley**

When your mind is tormented with thoughts, sleep does not come easily.

It was one of those nights when my brain was on an endless loop, the what ifs, the embarrassing moments of my life, and the almost sleep only to woken by a nightmare before it begins.

Ali was lying next to me and she had fallen asleep almost instantly. I think that the pregnancy was making her tired already. Of course, the news we got today certainly did not inspire a person to want to stay awake.

And yet here I am.

There were so many things that we needed to do to get ready. Ready for the baby, ready for a relationship, ready to tell people.

It was all too much.

I felt my breathing starting to pick up and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. The hours of thinking had finally boiled over to this one moment; make or break.

Ali moved next to me, she turned over and slung her arms across my stomach. She moved her face close to mine and then she whispered, "Stop thinking and go to sleep. We have time to get it all figured out."

Just like that, I relaxed. She knew, without even being awake that I was freaking out. We will be good parents. We know everything about each other and so we will have a good relationship, and we have so many people in our lives who care about us that it won't be a problem to tell anyone our story.

I finally felt my eyes getting tired and as I laid with Ali by my side, I could finally drift to sleep.

The morning came much too soon. Granted I had spent much of the night awake but still, I was unprepared to face the day as I woke up.

Ali however did not seem to share in this sentiment as I could hear her downstairs music playing and pots banging.

Begrudgingly I got myself out of bed and made my way to the noise downstairs.

As I came into the kitchen I watched her dance around the room while making what appeared to be a full spread breakfast.

She twirled around and caught my eye, "Crap, I was hoping you would sleep for longer."

I just smiled at her and made my way closer to her. I had been denied touching her for years and I felt crazy to deny myself any more opportunities to do just that.

"Its okay I will be fine on only a little sleep today."

"Well funny you should say that."

"Why?"

"I might have invited you mom over for breakfast because I figured that she should be the first person to know that you and I are having a baby."

She looked at me with complete innocence and the brief anger that I felt disappeared. It was actually very thoughtful to consider that I would want my mom to know first.

"Okay well, I was definitely not expecting to do that today but the sooner the better right?"

"Right!"

She twirled away again and kept doing what she was before I came down.

"You should probably get dressed, your mom is going to be here in like twenty minutes."

"What was your plan if I had slept longer exactly?"

"The element of surprise."

"Ha ha."

I turned to go and get dressed. I felt nervous to tell my mom. I knew she would be excited but I still didn't feel like I was near old enough to be telling her I was having a baby especially when I wasn't even the one who was pregnant.

As I pulled on an outfit I heard the doorbell ring and listened as Ali went to open it.

My mom sounded excited to see her and started immediately talking about how good the house smelt.

I took one look in the mirror by the door and braced myself for this next part.

 **Okay I am sorry, short chapter. I did mean it to be longer. I was trying to get this written before the episode comes out on Tuesday. Hopefully if I can get most of my homework done this weekend I can write a better and new chapter. Cheers- Miley!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay so I promise I am trying to be better. This year has been crazy at school. I have ended up having to do my job as well as my boss's and it has gotten to be a little much. Things are starting to wind down and with the new episodes coming out I have some motivation to write and look forward to the rest of the summer!**

This was either going to be a really exciting moment in my life or it was going to be another tragic one involving my mom. The one before had been her not being accepting of my sexuality but I believe that since then she has come a long ways.

Telling your mom you are going to be a parent should be exciting, the only time it should be terrifying is if you are in high school and just got knocked up by the guy who you only dated to piss her off.

This situation wasn't anything like that so I have no idea why all I feel right now is fear.

I rounded the corner of the stairs. Thankfully mom hadn't spotted me yet but Ali did and when she saw my face she mimicked taking a deep breath and then winked at me.

"Hi mom."

She turned around with a huge smile on her face. "Emmy hi! Ali was just telling me about all the things she made for brunch this morning. She also said that you guys have something you want to tell me."

She winked at me as she said this last part and I knew that she was thinking our news was just that we had started a relationship, technically she wasn't wrong; she just didn't know that there was more to the story and a tiny surprise.

"Everything is ready if you guys want to grab a plate you can start getting some food."

Ali said this and walked over to my side. She lightly squeezed the fleshy part on my hip. It was her subtle way to comfort me.

I honestly wondered how it was that she was so calm. I looked down into her eyes and that's when I saw it. Behind the calm mask was a terrified woman, one who was not trying to comfort me in her gesture but herself.

Here we were, two people desperately afraid to tell someone something that should in any other case be happy and exciting news.

As we sat down at the table with our plates full of all the food Ali had made, I wondered why I had taken this much food in the first place. I felt like I was reverting back to my childhood when my mom would make something I didn't like and I just pushed it around until she would let me leave.

"Mom"

She looked up from her food of which she had someone how eaten half when I had barely had one bite.

"There's something that I want to tell you. Well there's something that Ali and I have to tell you."

She put her fork down. Seeing as how my life was a mess and most things that happened to me were pretty serious I knew she took whatever I was going to say seriously.

However, her serious look only lasted a minute when she saw us look at each other and smile, more out of encouragement than anything.

Her smile turned to a smirk and her eyes moved between the two of us.

"Mom, Ali and I are having a baby."

Her face crossed between a bunch of emotions within a second that I was sure I blacked out and came back just to see the aftermath. And then she started crying.

"My baby is going to have a baby? I mean I assume you said the two of you because you are going to raise the baby together?"

"Yeah mom, Ali and I are going to raise the baby together and be this baby's parents."

"Oh, I always knew the two of you would end together. I told your father for years, he didn't think so but I just told him that it would happen and now a baby and its all so perfect and I get to be a grandma!"

I will admit that I was surprised that she didn't ask about the baby more and how it came to be but seeing as how that wasn't a story we could tell for now, I was glad she seemed to be preoccupied with being a grandma.

Ali smiled at me and reached for my hand from across the table as my mom rambled on about how exciting and perfect it all was.

I feel confident that if she knew all the circumstances surrounding this she would have a less than appealing position on the subject, however it was better this way. Having someone in our lives be blissfully excited for us was just what we needed.

That should be your first reaction to having a baby anyway, joy. Instead when Ali found out she was horrified and I have to admit that I was as well.

I focused back in to what my mom was saying. It was mostly just babbling but she was talking about all the things that she had from when I was a baby and how she wanted to throw us a baby shower and how she couldn't wait to be a grandma.

Honestly, I couldn't wait for her to be a grandma either. She was an amazing mother and I knew that she would be an even better grandmother and I couldn't wait to have her by our sides as we went through this.

For the most part Ali and I stayed silent throughout the meal only chiming in when we were directly asked a question or when we had something meaningful to contribute. It was slightly comical to watch my mom try and eat as she kept talking; it was hard to tell which one was in the way of which.

After a long few hours listening to my mom talk she finally left but not before we asked her to keep this to herself for a little while. When she asked why we just told her because it was early in the first trimester and we wanted to make sure everything was okay but the real reason was slightly different.

As I shut the door behind her, Ali and I both put our backs against the door and slid down to the ground. As happy as we both were that everything went so well, it was stressful none the less.

"Well I have to admit, I didn't know that your mom could talk that much and for that long. I think she deserves a medal of some kind."

I laughed and reached for her hand.

"Well at least we can enjoy that reaction before we tell the girls, especially since we will be telling them the real story."

She squeezed my hand back and for a while we just sat there together not talking. We weren't upset about anything but it was nice to just enjoy the silence and enjoy just being in this moment with each other.

This moment between. The moment where we were happy and the weight of the world was not sitting on us. The moment where we had just told someone happy news and that person had been just as happy.

Tomorrow would bring a whole new set of complications and reactions and so for now this was good.

As I sat next to Ali holding her hand in the silence I couldn't recall a time when I had been more content and happy.

Despite the circumstances of everything, I felt as though the pieces of my life that were scattered around were finally coming together to make one perfect fit.

I looked over and stared at Ali. She was by far the most beautiful and amazing person I had ever met. To see her there looking so still and calm made my heart sing.

She looked over at me and a small smile with a little blush hit her cheeks.

"What are you looking at?"

"I'm looking at the most amazing person in the whole world."

It was cheesy I know but it couldn't have been any more true.

"I don't think I can possibly be the most amazing person in the whole world but I appreciate the compliment none the less."

"You are my whole world and so you are the most amazing."

Cheesy again but I guess being in love brings that out. Not just being in love though, this was different. I was in love with Paige but it never felt like this. I never felt this way and I know now that when you meet the person you are supposed to be with forever it will feel like nothing ever has.

"You're ridiculous." She looked away but I could see the blush on her cheeks getting darker even though she tried to hide it.

"Should we get up?" I asked her not because I really wanted to move but more as a courtesy.

She looked back over at me and smiled softy showing her dimples.

"Let's just stay here a little longer and enjoy this moment, this one rare in between moment we get to have."

Nothing had ever sounded so perfect.

 **Well I have no excuses for the fact that this has taken me so long besides the fact that being an adult really sucks. I have been busier these past few months than I have ever been. I am taking the LSAT on Monday so if everyone wants to send me some good vibes it would be much obliged.**

 **-Miley**


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